Usually I have been starting off with how my morning is presenting but today I want to talk about my last night.
Like any other person who does not want to admit they have a problem because they are simply too strong willed, I too am finding myself in the midst of admitting and releasing.
I kept analyzing my wrong moves and trying to find words to describe the emotions I was feeling when in reality there are often no words to describe because they are so unique, so raw.
I have been trying to describe my fight for recovery with everyone in words that resonate in my heart words that are appointed not thought. I feel like I have been doing a just job for my representation, that was until I sat down and read the book of Job in the Bible.
Omgeeeez I found myself in the midst of the self inflicted misery like Job. Now before you jump on me and say Job’s physical deformities were painful and that is not of the mind. Well dig a little deeper and you will realize that these were in fact of Job’s mind or Job’s will.
See Job was a faithful servant of God that had all the riches all the blessings basically what we describe as what we are all looking for in this physical world. Even though Job was good And faithful, that faith was put the a test and this where the mind took control.
Job lost everything his children, his home, his livestock, developed sores and bones that ached with misery awaiting for death to be a blessing bestowed on him for his faithfulness. But like any other human we are flawed Job thought God was cursing him and just wanted to know why if not then just kill him, man does that make sense, my head had been in the exact same place for nearly 2 years.
In all reality the problem was truly MY will, MY stubborn pride. Now I won’t say I have ever went to the extent Job did and literally challenge God but there is a great lesson in that. Here is the amazing thing that I was realizing while I was reading this book.
In the midst of Job stating his case to his friends to present to God he was actually in an essence reminding himself of exactly why he worked for the good of the kingdom.
Job is one of the best word smiths I have ever read he was able to define what the pits of hell looked like in his mind’s eye. God gave him that gift that he didn’t even realize he possessed until his time of battle. Basically in the midst of his argument he as reminding himself how great and mighty God is.
I would suggest to read this book as a stand alone book in the Bible especially if you are searching for words to put to your pain. But I will ruin the ending because that is where the best lesson comes. Job had his chance to plead his case because God was always listening. The best part of the entire story was how Job’s life was better than restored once he just stopped believing he was cursed and started to believe that God was using him.
See when God confronted Job and asked who dare chAllenge me Job learned so quickly that he himself is not the creator, the maintainer, the deliverer, the king of kings.
When Job stood in his revelation and repentance of the me myself and I, he was delivered. No certain amount of time went by for anyone to have to think because that was the ultimate forgiveness that he needed and it was instant.
I know there are days like my yesterday which are hard but I got through because I took up the armour.
Now seeing through the eyes of the restored Job I know without a doubt that my story will be better than I could have ever imagined.