This is not the morning I wanted to be here in Columbus Ohio sitting, writing at Riverside Methodist Hospital while my brother clings to life.
Almost 2 weeks ago I returned to Ohio for what I thought what just hat was supposed to be a time of healing, boy was I so off with this journey..
My brother is a drug addict that has abused his body for so many years with the desperate plea, just wanting death to fall upon him. See he fights the same darkness I fight.
That unseen force that predcates your past present and future. Simply put we feel often like we don’t belong and the world is doing whatever it can to get rid of us. In reality I’m learning that nothing is as it seems. People do care way more than they Are able to show and they love so deeply.
My brother is hanging on for dear life and it’s all because of drugs.
At 40 years old and has turned to drugs to treat his mental disorders since a young kid. Always wanting so badly to die but literally not being able to pull trigger. So after years and years of abuse and rehab and back and forth he is now confined to a small room hooked up with tons of monitors in a slight anesthesia state trying to pen his needs and desires.
His heart is failing, the years of drug use have destroyed it beyond repair. Unfortunately it doesn’t stop there his body is riddled with sepsis, he has abscesses popping up all over his spine.
Today we hear from the doctor to be told he is going down a tunnel there is no light at the end. No one wants to hear thIs kind of news as. Still that look of the faint human who lies helpless. The fear in his eyes are so intense it honestly makes me want to jump out of my skin. I so badly want to help and I am helpless. I have to give it to God. I have made my peace not realizing how much peace I needed from this entire journey.
I pray that my brother finds peace. I don’t want his last part of his life to be filled fear. He has been stuck in that fearful dark place his whole life, it’s time to come to the light.
Please join me in sending your support however you see fit for my entire family. We Are all hurting in our own ways.