Today I am back at the hospital awaiting what seems to be the final hours of my brothers fight. His body is tired and riddled with pain he needs release.
My family has to make some of the hardest decisions of our life, whether or not to attempt to revive once the time comes. Trust me this is not a conversation that anyone and I mean anyone would want to have. For those of you who have had to face this terrible fate..my heart cries out to you
While dealing with all these heartaches I do have to say I am noticing the collateral beauty.
See I went outside just to take some time to myself in a healing environment and just enjoy the fall sunshine and crisp,breeze. While I was sitting 2 women walked up and sat next to me, one was a patient the other An apparent visitor.
The young woman dressed in the hospital gown immediately looked at me and said “how is your husband.” I looked at her for a second with confusion that she read all over my face. She quickly realized that she thought I was someone else, no harm no foul. Finally I replied”it’s not my husband it’s my brother.” She giggled a moment and then asked me cheerfully how my brother was doing. That was all it took and the waterworks came falling with the words “he is dying.”
Right away her compassion kicked into a realm that I was very with. It wAs a surge of emotion that was so full of empathy so full of care. I found myself breaking down telling her everything and she joined me in the tears of heartache, I didn’t feel alone.
She went on to admit to me that she herself had a dependency issue and she didn’t want to rely anymore. What? My words were resonating to her soul. Little did I know that this waS in fact a Divine appointment, she needed me as much as I needed her in that moment.
Rachel went on to share the intimate details of her struggle including what led her down this path and the darkness that overtakes her. The pain she was feeling was so emotional it had become physical. I continued to talk with her for a period of time which was probably not long enough but perfect for what we both needed from the conversation.
I got to share how much I love this complete stranger and that she is more precious that any jewel. I wanted her to understand her worth to know there are people who care. Sometimes it takes a stranger to show the raw emotions so we can see valid love.
After this wonderful in-depth conversation Rachel told me she wanted to stop her addition issue. I was center stage with someone similar to my brother that still had to words of hope resonating in her ears. By the time we were done we were hugging realizing how divine of an appointment this really was. How much both of us needed unguarded comfort.
When Rachel was getting ready to walk away she promised me that she was going to fight this fight, that she finally found worth. I did maKe sure to get her number and encourage her to reach out and she did the same. One last time I said “Rachel you have to do this u are so loved” she knew she was.
It’s amazing how we think that we are all alone in our struggles when in reality the person sitting right next to you may have the exact same struggle.
I urge anyone who has an addiction problem to reach out for help, look for support. If you feel like no one gets your struggle, try me! I’m always an ear to listen and I will remind your that you are loved and you can do this. Welcome to your new fight Rachel…you are so strong.