This never seems to end when I think I have a leg up on things in my life and when I think I am persevering I am stopped right in my tracks with another lesson.
See the impact of everything in my life that has been happening is hitting me with a force, so strong I feel like a leaf blowing in the wind.
Throughout everything that has been happening in my life I have always had a stellar support system or so I thought. I followed the word and connected with people who were like minded in not only life but my walk with God. They have always been a comfort in times of need knowing exactly what to say to bounce my mind back to where it belongs. But when you feel safe and secure in something earthly you quickly learn how flawed that support system is or is it.
There have been particular people that have promised to be by my side And love me unconditional but there is only one who is unconditional and you won’t find that physical body on earth. See I have relied so much on the words or the comfort of others even the love and support to have it ripped out from under my feet. From completely exiling me to not even communicating with me during hands down the hardest times of my life. The words have turned off the support and turned on the cold ways of humanity.
Now I know that some people don’t know what to say but at time like this a simple “thinking of you” is a sufficient reminder. But those reminders have ceased and the reliance of the lord has to come in full force. This has been a great lesson to me because I realize that I am putting too much stock in people that are often influenced by the wrong people.
My God would not say “she is going to be going through one of the roughest times in her life so I need you to know I don’t want you around her.” That is not my God he would encourage others to be reminded of the promises he made to them which includes support So that the validity of their promises could ring true in this earthly realm.
The one thing I am understanding is not to rely on humans to give you the comfort that only our Heavenly Father can. Boy does that ring true, I put my fAith in the wrong place, in the wrong people. I need to rely on God to provide what is best for me. I am allowing him to work on myself and others to realize true discernment which comes from my walk.
I do not want to use christianeeze and say “God doesn’t want me around you” I have to understand that is usually the product of infliction and disappointment in self. The one thing I do have problems with are those that have promised many times to be a part of my life to only be ignored and tossed aside. This is not ok and this is not God ordained.
What people are doing when they say things in such a time as this are those who are being consumed by something or someone with great holdover their life. They are aspiring but often misled by Someone or something outside of Christ that they are trying to mimic. This is not ok, to abandon everything you have ever said or believed and finding it ok to lie repeatedly. I hope you Are seeing how these behaviors are not Christian like, but worldly. God uses us the people as a tangible expression of love. Those who seek him and his glory will know his voice from the voice of the temptress.
So for today as I deal with more tragedy mounting in my life and what often feels like a spiral I ask please listen to God and not people. Your mission as a compassionate human is to be there for People in their time of need, even if just to show support for the grieving or the struggling. I am giving it to God and I am not going to focus on the spirit of rejection.
I ‘ M proud to say that I am continually learning how to love and love hard. This doesn’t mean I even have words it means I will stand by when I am needed, truly needed for my encouragement. Knowing that I am not the Fixer of anything but rather the deliverer of the reminder that I am hearing God loud and clear and I will continue to be used as he sees fit.
Yes I am working On myself now and I pray that others that are struggling will find their path. I know how much love I have in my heart and I will let the Lord fight for me even if humans reject me.