” For the lonely, for the ashamed, for the misunderstood and the ones to blame; we can start over, we can start over.” For King and Country
These are the words that have been going through my mind for sometime now and I finally understand why. Why? Because I am the lonely, I am the ashamed, I am the misunderstood and have always felt like the one to blame, but my song ended there I wasn’t hearing the rest. I have been so stuck on those words that the song, like me, wasn’t finished. I needed to breathe the fact that I could start over, even at age 39.
What an epiphany this song has been for my life. The song that I am singing in my head is by the group For King and Country and the song is titled “God Only Knows.” This Message has been laying there, untouched in my mind, ignited by the Holy Spirit. This was my tangible evidence that it is ok to leave the past and move forward. Finally the song was making sense, this was my message, my anthem. Now is the time to start over but first I had to burn the ships of my past, find release from bondage and that’s exactly what I am doing.
About 10 years ago I started feeling a call on my life, a pull in the direction of my purpose. I had spent a lifetime of being the person that has all the encouragement for the world but none for myself. I have consulted and been the consultant for many greats in the business world. I was “Advice lady.” It made me feel so complete each and every time someone would come to me to seek guidance on an issue. See I never felt like I had all the answers but I did feel like I was wired with a capability to assist others in finding the answers they seek from within. I counted my blessings each and every time someone called or texted and at times requested a meeting with me to help uncover their hidden truths. The part that always stopped me up was when their problem were resolved, I felt as though there was no longer a purpose for me. I began to dwell within the confines of self pity, not even seeing the glory that I was helping to bring to the kingdom because I had taken myself out of the equation.
In a swift instance I was facing collateral beauty dead in the eyes and wasn’t ready to appreciate the splendor that accompanied it. I was displaced, torn to shreds, but this was the beginning of a whole new era. This was a time to dig deep and find my self worth and pursue what was called of me…to help others in a capacity that could change the world.
As my studies of encouragement and promises were deepened I was finding resolve in not only myself but in the situations of my life. I was finding that there is a reason for me, that I had not simply slipped through the cracks. But with this new found wisdom the calling on my life was becoming more and more specific. There was a smell in the air that was leading me to the bread of the body of Christ and the blood of his suffering was now running alive and well in my veins. The spirit, the one I thought had abandoned me in my hardest time of life, was actually perpetuating into the core of my life. I was getting guidance and now was the time to act upon the commands of my master.
With this lifeblood I was finally forgiving myself for all the hurt, all the shame, all the incompleteness that I as a human lost in my follow through. I am a new being that was being shown how I can help others on a level that would satisfy the craving driving through my body. After 10 long years I am finally listening and I am starting over. ….I am going back to school!
See all the lessons, the trials, the tribulations; all the counseling, all the counsel being sought was gearing me up to return this love and forgivenesses on a massive level. I have known that I am supposed to go into Christian Counseling for these whole 10 years but I was letting fear of failure and circumstances surrounding finances at this stage of life to take away what the Lord has had in store for me. The spirit has been chanting the mantra, “Do the work” and so the work will begin.
As of this morning I have completed my federal aid funding application to become enrolled at a prestigious University starting Spring semester where I will begin the new adventure of achieving my bachelors degree in Psychology specializing in Christian Counseling. This is not going to be easy, this is going to seem to take forever but I finally understand my place in this world. I, Shari Weaver, am a child of God that will listen to the command to do my part to help others ensure their eternity.
You all know my struggles so this is something that I am going to require your support to succeed. I need you to show the love and encouragement that is inside you to show this woman that it is never to late to start living your purpose. Thank you all in advance for all of the communication and encouragement encompassing the past, the present and the future. This is my fuel! In return I promise to give my all and let God continue to guide my path.
A new journey is starting…will you join me!?