Please Read

I write for me or so I thought. In my head there is this never ending turmoil that circulates and begs to have me take attention. There is a gap in my memories that recovery seems null and void, but I won’t stop! I am on a mission and now I see it more than ever, so I am going to embrace this season of my life and do what is asked of me.

Most of my life I have fought the urge to write. I have had many feelings that everyone else has. I fear failure, I fear condemnation, I fear what they will say. If I let that determine me I would be nowhere doing nothing, but instead I write you.

Life is not easy for anyone. Some of the issues I myself have dealt with were labels being thrown to my name. See I, this imperfect human, have challenges myself. Instead of having these opportunities pent up inside of me, I write them to get them out, so I can heal.

Let’s break it down even further and I want to talk about the labels that have been thrown at my head. As of the last time for diagnosis I was told that I am bipolar, suffer bipolar depression, PTSD, personality disorder(this does not mean I have multiple personalities but rather coping issues) and anxiety. Now these diagnosis are becoming more and more prevalent, but I have learned to use them as fuel. This is my story of fueling up and I hope and pray this encourages you.

The time ticks away but my heartache remains. It is a feeling of total loss of control. The world seem to crumble daily in my head, yet I am here wasting away while the world lies dead. I see the images in my head of what might have been, the beckoning of the purpose I am called to do. Instead of embracing I have always dug an even deeper hole and lay in a pit of waste. I often wondered what is my place, why and I here. I am taking up space with nothing to offer. I have no real talents, nothing to exclaim so I waste away yet another day.

Then one day my world fell apart and I had a decision to make, do I do my part. The answer was clear the moment was true but there are times that I still feel so blue. I started to see that something I was doing made a difference to those in need, an act of kindness was definitely my deed. No records are kept of what I will say, no reminders of memories that need to fade away. Instead I am embracing the light and exiting the dark for today is the day I will leave my mark.

I want you to know that I hurt too. I want you to know that everything I say is so very true. I want you to know that I feel your pain, but remember this is because of what you have to gain. I am looking for peace I am looking for love, if I look around I can see all the above. My eyes were jaded my heart was pierced but now I see the truth and now I am fierce.

Look to the future, don’t dwell on the past. If you get outside of yourself you will see it’s really a blast. You are called for a reason, you are here for a season. Take the control you seek and life wont seem so bleak. The sadness becomes less and the joy, the joy oh how you will be blessed.

See there are others in this world just like me, I know that now. This is why I fight the fight to make God proud. I will tell my stories I will finish my lines, all the while you are falling in line. No effort is needed , actually the opposite. Submit and be chosen for you are composite. I will tell the world that my book is not finished for the Lord is my proof reader and he said it needs edits. I will edit my timeline, I will rewrite my wrongs. I will be a light in the darkness and even in the storms. This is my gift to you I give courage to be yourself without a word. I am a siren sounding for all to hear, I am a child who is losing fear. Don’t be dismayed for you are just as great. Declare your victory and work towards it today.

You are so special even if you can not feel the love, look all around, its coming from above. Dig in your heels and hold on tight, without a doubt this is going to be a bumpy flight. Do not fear, do not plan disaster, instead look up and simply obey the master. Show the world how love and kindness looks and one day you will be free and ready to make your own flight.

Reach out for love, reach out for support. After all there is no option to abort. Look up and look around compassion is laying on the ground. Make your mark and leave a name for yourself. Be the person you need above all else. You will notice the darkness turns to light and your flame will be so bright. Never give up, its not yours to take. The life you live is not a mistake.

If you need a hand to hold, if you need my arms around your neck, reach out to me and I will help bring you back. You are never too far gone, the decision is now. Everything is in place to take the vow. Be the best you can be, that’s all I ask. Show the world and let it embrace you back. My heart is huge my love goes for miles. Without you in this world I would remain in denial.

You are so precious, you are a gift. I look for your name and this is how I get my fix. I will tell the world what it needs to hear, i will share my tragedy so you can be near.

Don’t give up, the story has only just begun!

To The Addict

To the addict I have a few things I want to say to you. Before you decided to stop reading please understand that I know you are more than just a label and I intend to prove this, to you and to the world.

Do not let this label hang you up. There is so much more to you than a label to an illness. Yes this is an illness. No one is birthed with the notion that their life will spiral so out of control that you must rely on an external factor to determine your worth and your joy. You are not the diagnosis but rather this is a set up for your future endeavors.

You were born just like the rest of us, with a purpose, bringing joy to those around. Your arrival was rejoiced and your plan was made in stone. There is a reason you were put on this earth and it wasn’t by chance. You were predestined for things so great that sometimes the burden that follows is too strong. The darkness has a horrible way of creeping into your life and make you feel as though you are worthless. Well guess what? You are far from worthless and you can overcome any obstacle you choose.

Did you know that somewhere someone prayed for your very existence? In this great universe there was someone calling out to God-asking for a relatable person to share life’s ups and downs. Someone that could feel the love and sadness extra deep so another may not feel alone. Your life that you thought was a waste is actually a set up for victory. The victory to overcome life’s obstacles and teach others in the meantime. A plan so great that you got lost in the shuffle, but know you can be found.

To the addict…you love is so song I can feel it as I type. I can feel the value that you are missing or that is currently misplaced. I can feel the strength in your fight to change what was to what is to be and I am so proud of you. Keep looking for the good in life and be grateful for being a part of something bigger than yourself.

To me you are not just another starving mouth, another hungry soul. To me you are light that is encroaching the depths of darkness to impart wisdom to those who suffer like you. I see a flame that refuses to be extinguished despite all of life’s best efforts. i see a child of God, just like me.

I am proud of you for not giving up on yourself, after all that is what your journey is all about. Whether you are charged with the care of others or simply for yourself, you were hand picked as the best fit for the job. You are designed for resilience and luster that outshines all of the fools gold. You are precious to me and I don’t even know you. i see your value, I see your worth.

Don’t get hung up on what was, instead hang out with what will be. You are the CEO of choices though this may not seem. You have every tool, every gift that is required for greatness. Don’t get hung up on what you are not doing, instead just start doing. The world is waiting with open arms to accept you for who you really are not what the addiction has made you.

If you search deep within you will see that we all suffer from one addiction or another. Some of us require a morning coffee to get going while others have altered their chemistry to require a substance that numbs the rejection. Know that you and I are not so different. I have been in your shoes. I have relied on other things to make me feel less hurt but I got out and so can you.

I am counting on you to show me the way, the truth and the life. I am counting on you to be an example of what I can overcome on my worst day. I need you to show me what a real fight looks like. I need you to show me that together we can take back our lives.

To the addict..I am so proud of you. I am proud that even if you don’t see your plans you choose to keep pushing through. I am proud of the person that is right this very second taking control of their life and making a decision for recovery. I am proud of you for not giving up on God, family and friends. I am proud of you for standing tall. you are an inspiration because I know you have got this.

On the days when you feel like giving up, reach out. We all have these days and there are ways that can curb the pain but keep your mind sharp. The days where the sadness is too strong, redirect your focus. I am not saying any of this is easy after all your brain chemistry is changed, but there is good news.

To the addict…did you know we are all made to be addicted? That’s right if we aren’t an addict, we are supposed to be. We are supposed to be addicted to God! He is the one we are meant to crave with a force that will drown out the crowds. He has a message for you every minute of every day. He is telling you that he made you and he needs you. He needs you to help the others that are lost. He has written a great novel for your life and wants you to be the first one to read this book release.

If you knew me you would know I too am an addict. I was once, like you, addicted to a substance but now my addiction lies on my creator. The more I infuse my blood with the riches of his love, the more I crave this beautiful drug. I am no different than you but I am getting better…that was my choice.

To those that are suffering please know there is a world of people like me ready to help you to know you are being protected but you are also being called. Now is the time to see past the lies of fear and know that you can do anything. Do it for yourself…do it for your family…do it for me.

As always I am a resource to point you in the right direction, the direction you were meant to be in. Use your stubborn will for change. Be exactly what you gave always dreamed of being. Show that heart that glistens in the moonlight. Be the person who just might save a life.

Happy Birthday In Heaven

Yesterday was an extremely hard day and if I am honest I am still a bit groggy today. Yesterday marked the 41st birthday of my brother, Jeremy. The preparations of the day had been long and painful.

As I mentioned before I had been working on a grave blanket, which is a Midwest tradition. I put may hours into the cutting of trees and pain staking effort of weaving each and every branch into chicken wire as to make it secure and proper In form. The blanket to me means so much more than just a decoration to adorn a fresh grave. It was the effort and the time that went into this that allowed for so many memories, so many regrets surface so I could deal with them. I am so not used to dealing with issues. I would typically rally and move on for the sake of my own immediate benefit, but not this time. This time I had to deal with what was laying right in front of me if I was to complete this project with the love I have in my heart.

My family minus my sister gathered at the grave site to pay respects to Jeremy on the day he was born to this world 41 years ago. There was really not agenda other than laying the blanket and launching 41 filled helium balloons to mark celebration in the skies. We were even graced by a beautiful woman that was a friend of my brothers throughout the years. It was an amazing site to behold. It was genuinely a celebrated moment that was viewable from the heavens.

With little words and lots of tears we each had our moment to share words if it fell upon our hearts. With the finality of the words, balloon were launched, some with notes others just helium. That moment was so spectacular. In my eyes it showed the release of the heartache I have been harboring so long. We gazed upon the balloons until they were out of sight. Much like the life of my brother we held the balloons with the anticipation of their entire purpose, the release of a beautifully perfected soul.

The celebration didn’t last long due to the cold climate that surrounded us. For a while the cold didn’t exist, it was the moment we were all joined in together, the moment of remembrance, living and loving, but never forgetting. It was honestly what I needed in the tangible as well as in the metaphorical state. This was my release of pain. See I have been the one who has been here for every up and down, every tear shed out of a feeling of failure, making decisions and comforting the hurt. Just like the launch of the balloons I too was letting go of what was and moving towards the what is to come.

Jeremy lived a life full of love but clouded by the appeal of the darkness. He was in pain and had no idea how to not only discuss his pain but no idea how to live with the pain. Here is the kicker..most of us that have been in the darkness have no idea why we have so much pain but our ticket was to handle it or bury it. He chose to bury it with a numbing concoction that ruins the body.

In my eyes the death of someone who has had a life of drugs is a life that was wasted. Not wasted by the draw of the substance, but the appeal of what this has to offer…nothingness. I too have been in that dark place with no where to run and I have had my own crutches to deal with but I am dealing. My brother was not “just another junky” he was a man with a heart that loved so deep that it hurt. He was a great man when he allowed God to be in control.

Today I am once again asking you to take a look at your life, especially in the holiday season. Do you feel unwanted, full of despair? Well guess what..that is an on going lie to get the strong to submit. The submission choice is yours since the fight is yours. You are not alone in this world or the next. You are a loved and protected child that has been given free will. You get to choose how you exercise that will. Will it be beneficial or will it be harmful to you and the ones around you.

As always I am offering myself as a resource for those who feel lost and alone. I can completely empathize with you, I have been there, but I have found the right way to deal with this ugly world. I am not telling you I am going to convert you to a religion that may be skeptical to you, actually I just want to demonstrate to you how loved you really are.

If you are in need of someone to talk with, please reach out and let me be a resource to get you the assistance you desire. I do not have all the answers but I do know game plans to overcome. I am so serious when I say reach out that I want to offer my email address so we can talk. Please contact me at I want to be part of your support system.

I love each and everyone of you despite your past, present or future. I am put on this earth to make a difference, so lets start with you. Thank you in advance for following this blog of release. You are so special that I will do everything in my power to help you realize that your worth is endless.

Much love and comfort to you all!

Shut Out

So the last few days I have been having an issue that has hurt me down to the core of my being. I am the person who wants more than anything to HELP others overcome their situations with direction, not the effort of fixing. My heart screams out to those who hurt because I know the feeling so well and this is my journey to not only be used in a proper way but also to be an example.

Here is the story. As many of you have read that one of the situations I am dealing with is losing my relationship of five years. Now this may not seem much to others but to me it seemed like my whole world. I had the family I always desired and the dog that my heart was so connected to. I was trying so hard to play the role of mom and well basically wife that I got lost in the process. i was trying to over achieve and that took me to the depths of hell. I didn’t know what I was doing so I was trying to do what felt natural to me. In the process of filling this appointed role I lost site of not only myself but my family God had so graciously given me. When I finally realized well into the dynamic I couldn’t seem to pull myself out of the depths of darkness.

Now as I write out of the situation I am being reminded of the chaos I allowed my life to become. I had dismissed the order in which I was to be in the household and clung tightly to the new daughter that I was to care for. I made her the center of my world then next came the dog. After the dog is when I had put my significant other’s needs in my perspective. This was so jacked up and honestly it made me feel lonely because I wasn’t bonding with my other half in the way that God would have wanted me to. I found myself putting undue stress on him to the point that he broke. See, I thought I was doing the right thing with sharing my feelings, but there is such a thing as oversharing. When times were tough I would go to him with worry and doubt projecting my feelings on to him. Now please let me say that I am not at all taking full responsibility for the actions or even lack of actions with the one I was promised to. I know he has his own issues and that’s what was hurting me so bad. I was feeling the pressure of the old patterns to try and fix things on my own, not giving them to God but to take matters in my own hands.

After the semi breakup, my flight mode kicked in and I came back to Ohio right away. I came back with the understanding that we were not broken up but rather taking some time apart. Things seemed to be going well, I was realizing so much and we were communicating on a regular basis. It felt as though we were really taking some time apart to work on ourselves.

Here is where a big problem reared its ugly head. I had forgotten, well rather I became obsessed, with my journey to heal that I had forgotten that he himself needed to get his life in order. I just assumed that the major problem was me, after all when he was sending me off he did tell me the main reason was because he couldn’t handle my mental problems anymore. That devastated me and instant leverage came to mind from a man who promised so much to me and in an instant he just turned it off. I never stopped to realize that maybe the “turn off” was his coping mechanism, how he handled problems. It was not only a display of his strong will to make important decisions but also his way to be done finally with something and move on.

Like I said things were good, I was talking about when I would like to come home and he didn’t protest. It came time for the week of my birthday shortly after my brothers death when my anger got the best of me. I had an email come across from his daughters school, the school in which I was helping her as a new venture of one On one with home schooling. Anyways the email I received showed that she was failing her classes and knowing how much pain and confusion she was in I reacted the old way and instantly placed blame. I called her father and left a nasty voicemail that included the words” I don’t know what you are going through but you need to get your act together because you are effecting even your daughter.” Now I ask, how would you feel if you were fighting your own battle, already tattered from a situation that controlled your life for so many years? Yea, as you would, he got very angry. So the next phone call from him was if he was to send me a package of things I wanted what would I like. In my confusion I said ” well isn’t the whole goal for me to come back home?” That’s when the fateful words rang from his mouth, “No, that’s not going to happen.” In one fail swoop he called everything off with me and proceeded to send any and all items that it seemed I had ever touched. I was crushed.

Sometime went by, actually a few days, and we continued to talk like the friends we started out being. There were good times and bad times but with me being the only one to make any apologies. I was so hurt once again in a time that I felt like I had lost everything. I had lost the love of my life, my daughter (his daughter but we were bonded to the point she even called me momma), my dog, my home and now my brother. The loss mounted so hard and to realize that every struggle I was going through was not even met by him with condolences or support since I knew how compassionate his heart was. He had turned cold in my time of need.

We have continued to talk until recently when the messages, the phone calls, had stopped cold turkey. I mean he wasn’t even replying to my texts messages. This was so not like him so I knew he had to be done with me and had not a single feeling left for me. He shut me out without even an explanation. Of course that hurt but I finally was able to reach him and speak to get some answers of his actions. The words I was met with via phone was “nothing is wrong I am just really busy. I haven’t returned many calls or texts because I am busy.” I was actually ok with that answer for a moment then it took me back to his lack of feelings for me and the hurt rose again. Shortly after the phone call I received a text that told me there were many people he had to back away from so he could get his life in order. More rejection! My only thought was here is another person that God is saying to stay away from. I cried so much that my face was sore from the tears . Not just tears for him but tears for so much loss, so much grief and how out of control my life felt.

Finally through prayer and meditation as well as scripture I started to see the whole story the story of him and his journey. It dawned on me to step outside of myself and think as if I were in his shoes. I was quickly reminded of an argument I had overheard from him and another where he stated boldly that he wasn’t proud of himself. Those words rang so clear in my ears that I realized his journey was to redeem himself to himself. This honestly had not much to do with me but rather him stepping up and realizing the same thing I had…If I’m not happy with myself how can anyone be. This was such a consoling feeling that I let down my guards and realized I needed to back away and give him space.

Today my heart is more at peace understanding that I wasn’t rejected but rather being protected for my sake while he works on the sake of others. I am proud of the man of God my ex is becoming. He is finally getting his priorities in order so that he can fulfill his obligations as well as succeed in life. One day maybe he will find room in his heart for me again but for now I will continue my growth.

My heart goes out to anyone going through something simple or extreme, I understand the helplessness. I admire those fighters who take control, even at the expense of wounding others, to get their lives back in order. Everyone deals differently with their set of circumstances and part of my journey is to be patient while the Lord does his work. This is not all about me it is all about life, my life and the life of others.

As always I am here as a resource for those that are feeling lost, lonely and repressed. My heart bleeds for you but you are not alone. I don’t have all the answers,far from it, but I will help lead you to the place where your answers lie.

The one thought I want to leave you with is this, remember when you think you are alone, look to the heavens and realize all this even the stars were created for your comfort. Embrace what is provided and you will receive what is promised.

Yes, I’m Ok

It’s been a couple a days since I have written and it is primarily because I have had some set backs and I needed time to get my anger and pain into check before I wrote. See I only want to write out of purity. What I mean by purity is not being afraid to write about the bad, but instead write about how I overcame the bad. Sometimes it takes a bit of time to get some perspective, especially as a writer, before I publish words that are truly beneficial.

So back to my last couple of days. I started a job on Monday. Now please let me say before I go on that I started this job out of haste. I have always been a person who rises up to the occasion to be the provider or the responsible one, as I thought. I have always, in extreme desperation, taken matters in my own hands to produce results. Sometimes the results are right and sometimes they are very wrong.

My first day of work I went in with an extremely positive attitude of doing the responsible thing, but the mood quickly changed. As I sit listening to the team I was to be working with and the atmosphere I would be aligned with my gut instinct started telling me something very different, a much sadder story. In the past I have worked in sales, well primarily my whole life one way or another. On top of that I pride myself in being very observant and very disciplined. The morning meeting commenced and i started noticing grudges and anger from the entire staff. I was suddenly in tuned to the spectacle that was being displayed for my benefit and words started coming to my head. I started hearing ” Shari, this is what happens when you make your own plans.” Those words started to ring louder the more the staff talked or rather grumbled. Not many words from the team needed to be said as their body language was telling the story of a place I didn’t belong.

I continued to push through the meeting and was then assigned to work with HR to start my training. The HR manager was doing what an HR manager does and that is to talk up the company. It didn’t take me long to decipher through the jaded words to understand that this was in fact NOT where I belonged. Now let me say that I did not feel this way because I am too good or too qualified for this job but rather a prelude to something greater if I simply wait and be patient. Yep you guessed it patience is not a strong suite of mine thus why I accepted the position. By the time we hit the lunch hour I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I didn’t belong in this “fake an toxic” environment. Finally I was at a place in my life that I didn’t need to settle because I had no one to provide for but myself.

The entire time that people from the company were talking to me, I was praying silently to God to see if in fact I was on the right path. During this time is when the voice in my head or my guts was telling me different. So with the dismissal for lunch I knew that I needed to leave. I needed not take anymore of anyone’s time because this message was clear. I wanted to talk to my supervisor or the GM to let them know that I had decided that I wasn’t a fit for this job, but everyone was tied up in a meeting. Coincidently the HR manager had just provided me with a cell number to contact them for any reason. So I reached out to the number being told that texting was a preferred method and explained briefly that I was grateful for the opportunity but I wasn’t a good fit for this position. I was responded by a text that was wanting understanding if something had been done or said that made me change my mind. I went on in a few words to explain I thought I was ready for these basics but turns out I was not.

Fast forward to later that evening when I was feeling like I had quit on the world and shame followed by guilt reared it’s ugly head. I started hearing all the words of the enemy telling me I’m not enough and that I will never amount to anything. Guys, it got so bad in my head that I literally fell to the ground with the loss of strength and just cried. I not only cried but I was actually slinging snot everywhere. I was defeated as well as had verbal cues that I should have settled. So i went to God with my problems, with my lack of respect and love for myself. It was during this time that something that had been playing a loop popped into my head.

I have been feeling like I am being called somewhere but I didn’t know where. My life was aligning with encouragement and the desire to help others through my writing but it wasn’t producing the income needed for independence. I took time to continue my prayer and that was leading for me to reach out to my support system.

At first I expelled all the guilt I was feeling to only be welcomed with people genuinely being ok with the fact that if I had felt something so wrong that I needed to get out. In talking further with my support system I found myself saying that there is only one place that I wanted to be and that was in a church. The church was calling to me in some capacity to be a part but again no idea where. i have certain qualifications, mainly for the business world, but those qualifications don’t matter in this instance.

Sunday while I was a church the voice of belonging started to echo. Now this wasn’t a voice that says this is your peace for the day, but rather this is your day for peace and discernment. I knew that it wasn’t just in church on Sunday that I belonged but rather this goes beyond home to a calling. Now mind you that this calling has been going on and this extreme pulling was before I had even started this job but was actually a prompt for what was to come.

Yesterday I searched and prayed to the point that I wore myself out so much that most of my day on Tuesday was spent in bed asleep. One thing I noticed that each time I woke from my lazy slumber the words of belonging at a church were ringing with emphasis of finding the location. I knew and finally came to peace with quitting the job to wait on the Lord.

This am I woke to wanting so badly to listen to a sermon that was emailed to me from Elevation church in North Carolina, where Pastor Steven Furtick is the lead pastor. So I started to video of the recent sermon to see a title that was right on time. The title of the sermon was “The Power of the Prompt.” Now we are talking, this sermon was speaking to me because I feel like I am being prompted. So in fashion of my true self I reached out and emailed the pastor not even caring if he responded. This was simply a command I had to follow. So I emailed what words were on my heart and am leaving it at that.

Fast forward again to right now as I am writing this. I am feeling energized because i am doing what is being asked of me. I am not only helping others in the name of the Lord but I am also following advice of his followers, the people he put in my life, to help me through this self doubt. Talking and listening was exactly what I needed to reason even with myself. So for now I am going to continue to obey and know that God has promised to provide and take care of me. I am not so worried about a job and am fine with starting as a volunteer in a church. Even as I write I get a text saying ” You are going somewhere.” Indeed I am gong somewhere that I will be called to, I am going only where I am told and not taking matters in my own hands. This doesn’t mean I wont work it simply means the work has to be deemed for me.

Are you facing a calling or a prompt in your life that is sucking the energy right away from you? I can tell you without doubt that there is something very real about these prompts in your life, they are meant to make you reach your potential. For now I would like you to dig a little deeper, like me, and discover what your position in this world is meant to be. Stand strong in faith and hope knowing that the promises to you will be fulfilled but you have to do the work.

I am sending my prayers of love and support to you all. As always I would like to offer myself as a resource to you so you know with tangible evidence that you are not alone. Much love to you all.

Showing My Face

One of my biggest issues in life is to be proud of the face that I was blessed with. Instead of looking at myself like the beautiful gift God created, I have always felt shame due to comparison. I fell into the same trap most of us do and look at others on social media platforms as gorgeous, fit, handsome….worthy. I didn’t even look at myself as worthy until recently.

It is no surprise that I have and am going through a lot, like most others. However I deemed myself as boring, useless, unloveable and unattractive. All this together mounted up inside myself as feeling like there is no point even saying the words that have been given to me in fear, yes fear, of not being accepted. Well folks that is about to change!

In all of my study and searching I have discovered that I am actually very special. I am a chosen child of God and it is time to start acting like it. Now is the time to be proud of myself for the beautiful child I am and let my creator take the credit. No more wishing my life away or comparing myself to others by a physical appearance. No more worrying about how the world views me because my goal is to make change in the world.

Yesterday it was laid very heavy on me to get outside my box, stop worrying and start doing. That is exactly what I did. I produced my very first YouTube video that was me in the raw. I had a lot of apprehension but conviction won over. I got myself together, not overly focusing on my appearance but rather the words that were in my head. I didn’t do anything fancy, instead I talked about my journey.

Can you believe that when I was finished uploading the video I felt an amazing sense of accomplishment? I mean I finally took the bull by the horns and attempted to share what was on my heart and in my head in hopes that the world may see that I do have something worth while to say. I was being led to share not only words but emotions that could be seen in my actions. I laid it all on the line and let it go.

Accomplishment is something that we are all desiring to feel. The sense that our entire existence isn’t in vain, to surpass the obstacles, mostly mental, and create something that could make a difference to someone else in this world. It doesn’t have to be something so profound that only a few can relate, but rather something ordinary, something we all face, to let others know they are not alone. See that is the whole reason I am sharing intimate details of my life, to help someone else possibly bypass the wrong steps I took and save valuable time in their lives.

After recording and uploading I had such an amazing joy come over me. It wasn’t empty joy, wondering who or how many people would watch me on camera, but sweet release. I faced my fears of showing what I look like or worrying whatI had to say, I just let it come out how it was supposed to. Beyond accomplishment I felt proud of myself for trying something new, for stepping outside my protected box. I am telling you there is not many greater feelings than to finally be proud of something you have done that is worthy of repeat.

So with all this said I have decided that I am going to be writing my blog as well as sharing tidbits of what I have talked about in my writing but doing it on camera, See I want an intimate relationship with my readers. I want them to know the real Shari, not just the words that are in my mind. I want people to know that they too can achieve anything they want if they are willing to be bold.

You are not alone in anything you do, good or bad. You have the chance to redeem yourself if only to yourself. We are all warriors, we are a chosen army to defend what is good and just. You have been selected to sweep the world and to make your mark of change, to be there for others that are lost but not forgotten. Your words whether written or verbal could be the change a person that needs to know their value. This all starts with aligning yourself the correct way and believing the good not the bad about yourself.

I hope that you will take the time to check out my videos on YouTube and I will also me utilizing Facebook Live and Instagram TV as an outlet for my words. I am taking control with the guidance of God to be all that he wants me to be. I am going through the process and I am embracing the change….please join me!

As for now I am on YouTube only but getting things set for the others. I will do my best to keep it short and interesting, but remember this is my journey to show my face. You can see my first video at, be sure to SUBSCRIBE AND SHARE. You can also find me on instagram at @findmywhyblog or on facebook at find my why blog.

Thanks so much in advance for all your overflowing love and support for this part of the adventure of my life. Please reach out and let’s communicate. Who knows maybe your adventure is similar to mine and we can collaborate.

Have a great weekend and don’t forget…You are Enough!

Let’s Tell Your Story


On this beautiful journey of a rediscovered life, my perspective is constantly shifting.  In a place where I once deemed as the dark place, is long gone and the beckoning light is so warm and inviting.  One of the best gifts I have been given in this time is the love and compassion for others that my heart is enveloping.  I tend to get very outside myself and notice those around me, near and far, and see I can help make a difference in their life.  Be warned though that I am strongly aware of boundaries and do not wish to attempt to “fix” anyone but rather be used for glory.

What is the best way I can think of to help others?  Well I have thought and prayed about this, asking for guidance to the place where I can be effective.  The one thing that keeps coming to my mind are how many stories are stifled due to lack of resources. I keep seeing so many hearts that lack desire because they themselves have never even heard their own story.

We spend so much time trying to survive and get through the day.  We wish that our days could be shorter mixed with an extension of night.  Surviving is the key word here. So I am ready to do something about it with you.  I would like to reach out and meet some of my readers, to show you I am someone just like you.  I want to pair with someone FREE of charge and have a conversation.  I want to be a voice for your story.  I want the world to be able to share in not only my victories but I want to take you along with me. Let’s talk on the phone and you can tell me all about what you would like the readers to know about your story.  I want to be utilized as a platform to either pen or have you as a guest blogger with your own introduction and guest writing spot.

Let it be made known that there will be no exchange of money but rather of time, honesty and integrity.  We are on the stage for the whole world to see, so let’s make the most and cause a fireworks display.  Let’s encourage the world with our everyday stories of overcoming, perseverance, strength and triumphs.

If you are interested in working with me as a featured project on my site, please reach out to me at I hope to get to meet some amazing people and hear some great stories. But more than that I would love to help someone else have their stories told…it just may save a life.